Psalm 44 - When I Feel Heaven and Heartache Cross Paths

Summer in the Psalms

Oh hey, short on time? No worries! I'd love to join you on your commute or daily walk/run, or shoot, even while you take care of that to-do list. We can't let these things get in the way of this friendship. It's just starting to get good! Click below to listen.

Listen Now

Joy and grief, these seem so opposite, yet I've come to learn these two are good friends. Have you noticed in your own life how these seem to coexist? Some of our most joyous times are also met with loss, heartache or grief.

My friend, Courtney Doyle, is sharing her reflection of Psalm 44 with us and drawing strength from scripture as she endures a season marked by "a smile on [her] face and a hole in [her] heart." I pray this encourages you today, friend.

Courtney Doyle is the founder of The Mom Show podcast and Courtney Doyle Ministries, dedicated to encouraging and equipping moms with faith-filled wisdom for every season of motherhood. With a heart for authenticity, she unpacks the struggles, joys, and challenges moms face, pointing them back to their identity in Christ. Through storytelling, biblical truth, and real conversations, Courtney creates a space where moms feel seen, supported, and strengthened in their journey. You can connect with her on Instagram, on her Website, or The Mom Show Podcast.

Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever. Rise up and help us; rescue us because of your unfailing love. - Psalm 44: 23, 26

Have you ever read a passage of Scripture and felt the author's angst yet couldn’t quite identify with it? At first glance, I wasn’t sure how to process the words written in Psalm 44—cries of remembrance, words of affirmation, and a longing for rescue. “Awake, Lord… Rise up and help us.” These are some of the final words we read.

As I read these words, I could feel the psalmist’s sense of loss, yet I couldn’t fully relate. There was triumph and tragedy, happiness yet heaviness, gratitude and grief—all woven together. What an interesting juxtaposition, I pondered.

You see, life as I knew it was comfortable. Calm. All was well. As a family, we were preparing for the upcoming holiday season—decorating and making plans for gatherings with loved ones. The most anticipated excitement was the birth of a new grandson. As his arrival drew near, I busied myself with preparations for this joyful new season, oblivious to the possibility of tragedy lurking around the corner.

Isn’t that how we are meant to experience life? Taking in all the wonderful things God has

prepared for us, not living in fear of the unknown? But in an instant, I found myself relating to the psalmist.

A phone call on the night of our baby’s arrival alerted me to the reality that my father had mere days to live. A glorious birth, and a pending death. New life on earth, and new life in Heaven. A homecoming for each.

I was now the author of the line, “Awake, Lord… Rise up and help us.”

As the days passed and my father left this earth, we reflected on the memories we shared with him—the advice he poured into us, the humor he passed down, and the unfailing love he showed our mother. Like the psalmist, I too was reflecting on the past and God’s faithfulness while wrestling with the pain of grief, unable to reconcile the two.

Haven’t we all been there? A moment where happiness and heaviness coexist? We remember the goodness of God, yet when grief floods in, we wonder why He seems silent. With a smile on my face and a hole in my heart, I treasured the time with my family over the

holidays, knowing their presence brought peace to my aching soul. My dad was married to my mom for 67 wonderful years, and though her memory had faded, she was aware of his absence. What God had joined together could not be kept apart, and exactly 67 days after his passing, my mom joined him in eternity.

"Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever. Rise up and help us; rescue us because of your unfailing love." (Psalm 44:23, 26)

I now understood the psalmist’s angst. I can identify.

The beautiful thing about this psalm is that, even in their confusion and despair, the people

never stop praying. They don’t turn away from God but instead press into Him—with their

questions, their pain, and their longing for relief.

I, too, have pressed in. Prayer didn’t prevent my parents’ passing, but Scripture and prayer prepared me for what was to come, long before grief arrived at my doorstep. God isn’t caught off guard by the pain of this world; rather, He is fully aware of the sorrow we will endure. He isn’t sleeping on the job. He is our steady companion, capable and welcoming of our questions and cries.

If you are living in a season you weren’t prepared for, dear friend, know this: God has not

forgotten you. His silence does not mean His absence. Even when we cannot see how He is

working, His unfailing love remains. With arms stretched wide, He is the bridge that carries us between tragedy and triumph, grief and gratitude, heaviness and happiness. Lean in and let Him lead you.

Now, It's Your Turn!

I challenge you to take a moment to pray, then read or listen to Psalm 44 today. Think about what stands out to you. Consider writing down a statement of faith. It may help to think of this as an I-statement. Maybe yours is similar to Courtney's:

Even when I cannot see how He is working, God's unfailing love remains. With arms stretched wide, He is the bridge that carries me between tragedy and triumph, grief and gratitude, heaviness and happiness. I will lean in and let Him lead me.

Then, jot down a question to think about today. Maybe yours is similar to Courtney's:

When have I had a smile on my face and a hole in my heart but felt God's nearness through the unexpected circumstance?

Let's praise God for refreshment as we are intentional to spend a summer in the Psalms together, for if we want His truth to ever be on our lips, it must first be planted in our hearts.

Our strength grows as we rely on strength from above. Our joy grows as we see God transforming us from the inside out. Our peace grows as we spend time in God's presence, and we find rest when we intentionally seek the Lord first in our lives, for the Lord is ever our portion.

The good life, well it starts with a good day. Then another. Then another. Let's choose to live #TheGoodDay one day at a time.