Practicing God's Presence in What We Feel

An Introduction to Season 6: Feel

I once saw a funny reel on social media of a teenage boy looking throughout his house asking for various things. He'd be walking down the hall and ask, "Mom, do you where my gym shorts are?" He'd come in from outside and ask, "Mom, what's for dinner?" Sitting down to do homework, he'd ask, "Mom, can you help me with this math problem?" Lounging on the couch, he'd ask, "Mom, can I invite a buddy over to play video games?" Hopping in the car, he'd ask, "Mom, did you happen to grab a bottle of water for me for the game?" Then, at last, he comes to his dad and asks, "Dad, where's Mom?"

It goes to show Moms do a lot. We laugh at how in the stereotypical home, Mom has eyes everywhere and knows where those gym shorts are and extends her octo-arms to help one with math while prepping dinner while simultaneously soothing a baby on her hip. She manages the family calendar and helps everyone get to where they need to be safely and (mostly) on time. She gives and gives and gives.

What's not shown in the reel is all the ways Dad gives. Roles may be reversed and he may be the one orchestrating the needs of the home, but he also may be providing for the family at work or out mowing the lawn or tackling the AC repair or picking up the grocery order or washing or fixing the cars or coaching little league.

My point is, generally speaking, moms and dads both do a lot. The ways they show their love and care for us may differ. Motherhood and fatherhood are very different, not one better than the other, but different.

And this is on purpose. God created it this way. Family is one of the first institutions God established and He called for "shalom." Shalom is a Hebrew word meaning peace, but specifically I've learned it refers to peace in relationship. Peace, as in order. Moms and dads fulfill different roles when serving their families because this provides shalom, peace and order, in the family.

It's not a 1950s view of a housewife cleaning and cooking with a husband working. Shalom was introduced when family was established, which means this goes way before 1950s, back to Genesis. This also means shalom in the home can be present when one or both parents are working, even when both or just one parent is present. I believe God always provides a way and provides for our needs. When death or divorce, sickness or incarceration or something else interrupts one's ability to be present and engaged in the home, God is faithful to provide what is needed, often providing one or more people who can step in as a mentor or care-giver.

As we continue thinking about how we can experience God's presence through our five senses, we are going to focus on feeling God's embrace through our closest relationships - family. It may be a parent or grandparent, a sibling or neighbor, or someone else who has served in a nurturing or mentoring role for you. God is so very faithful to bring the family of God around us to help us feel His embrace.

God is very serious and cares deeply about family. So much so, the command to honor our father and mother is the fifth of the Ten Commandments and is linked to a long and prosperous life. Interestingly, He doesn't add, "...if they are honorable." It is a command without condition. Honor your father and mother.

So what does this mean in practice? Paul teaches the Church of Ephesus this way:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” - Ephesians 6:1-3

Children are to obey "in the Lord." This speaks to respecting the authority given in your life. At work, we may have a boss we don't agree with. In our community, we may volunteer and have a designated volunteer leader with whom we don't see eye-to-eye. An elected president whose policies we don't agree. Similarly, there will be times when we bump or butt heads with a parent. Our personalities, values or goals may be different. And this is okay. However, even in this disagreement, we are to show them respect because God has allowed them to be in a place of authority.

"...in the Lord" means according to the ways of the Lord. If a parent is demanding obedience in a way that is harmful or not safe, this is not according the ways of the Lord. In healthy family relationships, our co-dependency on our parents lessens as we grow. When a child becomes an adult, honoring his/her parents does not mean he/she is responsible for their parents' happiness. God's command is to honor, not to live in unhealthy co-dependency.

Relationships are difficult because they are made up of two imperfect people. Honoring a parent will likely involve effort, patience, and forgiveness. Showing honor is not just for children towards their parents but goes both ways - for parents for their children.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:4

Notice, this instruction is given again without condition. Paul didn't say, don't exasperate children who are well-behaved. He said don't infuriate and frustrate your children. Instead, teach them and lead them into the ways of the Lord. This, too, will require effort, patience, and forgiveness.

Even when a parent or child is not behaving honorably, we can still show them respect. When their actions or words are hurtful, we can speak calmly and respectfully, even if this means respectfully disagreeing with them.

Honoring a parent does not stop with obedience and respect but involves showing gratitude. We live in a deeply broken world and our relationships feel the bruise and sting of sin the most, so gratitude may be hard. Even so, we must cultivate this. I once heard someone say, "You've never met a grateful person who was a bad person or a mean person." It stayed with me because it's so true. Cultivating gratitude helps us keep our hearts soft and not hardened by the hurts of this world. A soft heart is able to respond with patience and love and forgiveness in the toughest of circumstances.

Cultivating gratitude doesn't have to be an all-encompassing thing, it can be specific. Maybe a parent neglected to express love with their words to you but they taught you a skill that has been valuable in your life, thank them for this. Maybe a grandparent offered you a nugget of wisdom that has shaped your life in a powerful way, thank them for this. If showing gratitude for one or both of your parents is hard to do, consider thinking of someone who God provided to meet your needs, someone who served in a fatherly or motherly role in your life.

Then, let's honor them and thank God for them and seek to be people who nurture and care for our families and those people we choose to call family in our lives. It makes sense we will feel God's nearness as we love others because He is Love and we can only love others because He first loved us. We will never understand the gravity of His love for us, but as we are intentional to think about it more and sit in this space, we find ourselves in a place of great wonder and awe.

A love that inspires. A love that pursues. A love that has died for us.

May we feel this in a fresh way together and be vessels of this love to others so they will feel the Father's great, wondrous love for them.

As we discussed before, "Beauty will save us," so let's prayerfully ask God, "Father, give us eyes to see, ears to hear, a heart to feel and understand. As we do, may we learn to walk in step with the Spirit of Holiness and may Your fragrance of heaven linger on us and be a gift we give to others - so they may be drawn to this scent and come to taste and see for themselves the goodness and wonder of your love."

If we are to experience the wonder of God's love - to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, to be filled with the fullness of God, we need to awaken our souls to this Beauty here with us.

Our new mini-series on feeling the wonders of His love is just getting started, and I so hope you'll join us back here next week - same time, same place - for more encouragement.

Our strength grows as we rely on strength from above. Our joy grows as we see God transforming us from the inside out. Our peace grows as we spend time in God's presence, and we find rest when we intentionally seek the Lord first in our lives, for the Lord is ever our portion.

The good life, well it starts with a good day. Then another. Then another. Let's choose to live #TheGoodDay one day at a time.