When I Feel Disappointed by a Setback by Nichole Suvar
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Ever feel like life is pulling you backwards? Plans fall through. What you're hoping for becomes what you're grieving.
How do we use this disappointment to develop in our weary souls a greater trust in God? Can this backwards pull serve like a slingshot and actually propel us forward? Anything is possible with God, my friend, and it's in the disappointments when we need to bring these thoughts and emotions, maybe some tough questions, to God and activate our faith.
A longtime friend of The Good Day's is back with us today - Nichole Suvar is helping us apply God's word to the current setbacks and disappointments we're facing as she shares her reflection of Psalm 89 with us.
Nichole is a recovering perfectionist and intentional living strategist who lives in the Midwest US, with her husband and their three teenage children. She seeks to encourage others to take small moments of each day to intentionally seek after Jesus in every area of their life. Nichole has been published in Proverbs 31 devotionals, several online magazines, and her newest book, Numbering Our Days: Combating Anxiety in the Power of Small Intentional Moments. You can access the weekly Intentional Living email series, her Peace and Purpose course, and additional resources on her website, livewithintent.org, and on Facebook and Instagram @mrs_nichole_suvar.
As I read the text message, a flood of heat went through my body. I felt lightheaded, and my stomach turned.
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The news we were expecting was the exact opposite. What felt like a sure leading from the Lord led to setbacks, disappointment, and anger. My husband and I had done a lot of praying and felt confident we were heading where God wanted us. But we sat silently, stunned and confused, when the plans fell through.
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The nation of Israel had its share of setbacks, disappointments, and even anger toward God. There were times when God richly blessed them, and they felt loved and protected by Him. And then there were times when their enemies defeated them and they questioned God when life didn’t seem to go as promised.
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What do you do when you think a plan should work out a certain way and things derail? What are your feelings towards God? Especially when you feel like He was the one to lead you in a particular direction. Do you get angry with Him? Do you get mad that He led you into a place of disappointment after getting your hopes up?
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Psalm 89 is an example of a time when Israel may have had some questions to ask of God. In the middle of the Psalm, there is a commentary on how God promised that King David’s reign would last forever, but it sure didn’t look like it at that point. Verses 35-39 (NIV) contrast God’s promise with what was happening.
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Once and for all, I have sworn by my holiness—    and I will not lie to David— that his line will continue forever    and his throne endure before me like the sun; it will be established forever like the moon,    the faithful witness in the sky. But you have rejected, you have spurned,    you have been very angry with your anointed one. You have renounced the covenant with your servant    and have defiled his crown in the dust. - Psalm 89:35-39
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Ethan the Ezrahite wrote this Psalm, and though he is working through some hard questions and disappointment, he does not lose his perspective. In the middle of the psalm, frustrations over not seeing a promise fulfilled (yet) are present. However, the critical thing that brackets this extended portion of the psalmist questioning God is moments of praise and acknowledging His greatness.
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It’s OK to get disappointed and even upset and ask God questions—the Psalms are full of those examples! But the important thing is to keep our perspective correct. Verses 15 and 16 help us see what we need to do to maintain the proper perspective.
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Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, Â Â Â who walk in the light of your presence, Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; Â Â Â they celebrate your righteousness. - Psalm 89:15-16
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From these two verses, we see the three-step approach to keeping our perspective on disappointments in check:
We praise God’s name and His righteousness.
God is righteous, which means He is perfect in His character, attitude, actions, and words. There is nothing about Him that is wrong. When we praise God for the perfect Father He is, we focus less on our disappointment and more on the One who can heal our hurts from the circumstances.
We aim to walk in the light of His presence.
Our earthly walk can pull our focus downward instead of keeping our eyes on our eternal destination. Another place in the Psalms tells us that God’s word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. (Psalm 119:105). To keep the proper perspective on our disappointments, we need to stay in God’s word, having it shine a light on our shortcomings and direct us to walk in a way that brings God glory.
Repeat.
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In times of unexpected setbacks and disappointment, like those experienced by the Psalmist and Israel, it's natural to question and feel frustration toward God. However, maintaining perspective is crucial. While it's okay to express our emotions and ask tough questions, focusing on praising God's righteousness and walking in His light can help us navigate through disappointments with grace and faith. Ultimately, keeping our trust in God's promises and His perfect character brings healing and guides us toward a perspective of gratitude and celebration, even amidst life's challenges.
Now, It's Your Turn!
Before opening God's Word, take a moment to pray and ask God to meet you there. Then...
Read Psalm 89 a couple times. Highlight what stands out to you.
Circle verbs or specific wording you notice.
Then, write down a bullet point takeaway based on this. "I-statements" help make this personal. Think of this as a challenge statement.
When I experience unexpected setbacks and disappointment, I will express my emotions and even ask tough questions to God, but more than this, I will focus on praising God's righteousness and walking in His light to help me navigate through disappointments with grace and faith.
Then, jot down a question or two to think about today. You don't have to have the answer to this question now. And yield to the Holy Spirit - prayerfully ask God to search your heart and lead you to more truth and grow your faith through the Holy Spirit.
If keeping my trust in God's promises and His perfect character brings healing and guides me toward a perspective of gratitude and celebration, even amidst life's challenges, what promise of God do I need to stand on today?
Again, we don't have to be Bible scholars and talk only in the thou's and art's of King James version to read this book. ...because when we pray before we read, we are not alone. The Holy Spirit is with us, guiding and teaching us.
Praise God for this!
And praise God for refreshment as we are intentional to spend a summer in the Psalms together, for if we want His truth to ever be on our lips, it must first be planted in our hearts.
Our strength grows as we rely on strength from above. Our joy grows as we see God transforming us from the inside out. Our peace grows as we spend time in God's presence, and we find rest when we intentionally seek the Lord first in our lives, for the Lord is ever our portion.
The good life, well it starts with a good day. Then another. Then another. Let's choose to live #TheGoodDay one day at a time.
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